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A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. On the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the contestants to resolve an extremely loaded statement: “Name a reason a lady might decide to be having a chubby or fat man. ”
The contestants’ answers end up supplying a humorous round in the minds of this participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.
But my sister didn’t share this video clip on her behalf Facebook web page to garner laughs from her family and friends. It absolutely was just the opposite: my sis ended up being aggravated at the round’s subject while the responses provided. My sibling penned:
“This actually bothers me personally! For this reason people think you should be skinny/fit to be stunning, to be wanted, to be liked, and also to deserve anything…this is certainly not OK! ”
My sister tagged me in this article once you understand my background in fat studies and sex studies (so when a fat masculine person), once you understand i might concur along with her frustrations.
Image description: A screenshot associated with the Family Feud game board using the six most well known answers: “Fatty got cash” (34 out of 100 people surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The single thing this round that is particular of Feud does correctly is summarize a lot of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat guys — and relationships.
Nonetheless, calling away fatphobic urban myths was obviously perhaps not the game’s aim. Rather it perpetuated body terrorism blackpeoplemeet against fat systems to score laughs that are cheap. Let’s proceed through each one of the top six many popular responses in order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and damaging to guys of size.
1. “Fatty Got Money! ”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable With Their Cash or Energy
The misconception: the fact this misconception is considered the most popular for the six provided responses — 34 for the 100 individuals initially surveyed offered this or perhaps a similarly-worded response — is troubling by itself. This misconception is one thing we come across throughout US tradition, whether it’s in movies, politics, or popular tradition.
In cases where a classically appealing individual of any sex is by using a fat man, the overall presumption is the fact that this fat man should have money or some form of energy. Why else would an individual who could presumably get with anybody they desired decide to get with a disgusting man that is fat right?
This type of idea is incredibly damaging for the great deal of fat men, placing almost all their value as individuals to the cash or power they could or might not have.
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The reality: While you will find, of course, many people whom just seek relationships for the money or energy, the reality is that frequently, individuals will decide to get with a man that is fat they actually desire to be with him. This misconception is significantly less frequently put on skinny or “fit” men, unless of program that individual is well known to own cash or energy. But it’s much easier for folks to comprehend two thin or typically attractive individuals being together because they’re drawn to one another than each time a skinny or typically attractive individual chooses become with a fat guy for other less superficial reasons.
2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Only Like Other Fat People
The myth: with this particular misconception, we come across just how people try to take away fat people’s agency. It shows that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, whether it’s since they just find other fat people attractive or that is all they are able to “get”, within the many brutal of terms.
Slipped into this misconception is just a related fatphobic misconception: that all fat everyone loves for eating a large amount of meals, and all sorts of individuals who like to eat foodstuffs are fat.
The facts: Put clearly, the presumption that fat individuals will just seek relationships along with other people that are fat false. Humans — fat, thin, plus in between — may be and frequently are interested in a wide selection of individuals of all size and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat individuals are at ab muscles least ignorant, or even entirely fatphobic and sizeist.
So that as for the basic indisputable fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that’s another misconception too.
3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Guys Are Ugly
The misconception: All fat males, based on this worldview, are inherently less attractive than any partner they are able to ever have. Such men’s lovers would only make use of them to look more appealing in contrast. This misconception helps make the assumption that, as stated above, nobody could conceivably take a relationship having a man that is fat they’re actually interested in him. Fat folks are just tools to make their (presumably non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.
The reality: just like many people might pursue a man that is fat cash or energy, many people might just pursue fat males to appear more appealing to other people. In fact, though, this appears to be less frequent than this answer could have us think.
I’ll keep saying the idea, even when We appear to be a record that is broken lots of people really find fat males appealing!
4. “She’s In Love”
This was the sole answer that is truly mocking-free in the very best responses regarding the board. That in itself is illustrative of this entrenched fatphobia on display within the other countries in the responses. In addition it will come in at 9/100, which means that away from 100 individuals surveyed, “She’s in love” was the clear answer written by just nine individuals.
What exactly are fat men viewing designed to think of their health and their well worth as humans?
5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Great For Cuddling Yet Not Intercourse
The misconception: this is certainly among those “positive stereotypes” many of us make an effort to use to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are fashionable and confident. ”
Fat men are stereotyped as being hot and cuddly, yet not much else in the side that is“positive” of. As proof of this, among the game show contestants offered a remedy that finished up maybe maybe not being in the board: that a woman would date a fat guy because he was proficient at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in the “comedic” fashion, reacted just as if it was the most answer that is outrageous the whole world, utilizing the other contestants therefore the market laughing in contract. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat guys can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t to be noticed as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.
The facts: the matter with “positive stereotypes” would be that they anyone that is automatically alienate does not participate in those stereotypes. Worse, they alienate anybody who would like to be observed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by society.
Truly the only quality that is redeeming tradition permits fat guys — if they aren’t rich or powerful, rather than also 100% of that time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy bears. Even though many fat guys are certainly “warm and cuddly, for them to see this as their only positive trait” it’s harmful.
Further, just exactly what someone perceives to be “good” or “bad” at sex can be entirely subjective and situated in personal choice. Ridiculing the notion that fat males might be “good” at intercourse further entrenches systemic fatphobia.
6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too In Need Of Like To Be Unfaithful
The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the lovers, the reasoning goes, since they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they will have within their present relationship. Simply put, they understand that no body else would like to be together with them.
The facts: To place it bluntly, it is straight up incorrect. This dehumanizing survey response assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for sexual and attention that is romantic.
As damning as it can be to acknowledge, fat guys are just like likely as every other guys to cheat to their partners. And much more crucially, this misconception posits that fat men are so ugly, they would be given by no one an opportunity to cheat on the partners, which, once again, can also be drastically wrong to assume.